SOLUS

Being lonely is like missing something inside you:

A note of a melody,

The word of a lyric you know you should know.

You can’t name what you need because you don’t know it,

But you need it.

Your need for it fills your daily atmosphere

and kills your lungs as it takes over all room for air.

Everywhere you go, you look in the faces of the people you meet,

And watch their movements

And listen to their words,

And realize over and over and over

They don’t have the piece you’re missing.

They don’t fit quite right.

They’re not in tune with you.

And you’re left aching and a little emptier inside

– emptiness the need swells into like a cancerous balloon –

For longer and longer.

You begin to think you will always feel like that.

That there is no hope of change.

In a way, thinking like that is comforting,

Because having your hopes dropped and shattered

Over

and

over

and

over

hurts.

You’re tired of hurting.

Tired of aching.

Tired of hollow discord.

Every day you’re stuck on a tightrope,

Balancing between the hope you’ll find your missing piece this time

And the fear of letting your hopes go to smash once again.

And the worst of it is,

You don’t have anybody to catch you when your flailing arms

can’t keep you balanced anymore.

—

Solus – Stacia Joy